Happy Halloween!

A woman was asked by a coworker, 'What is it like to
be a Christian?'

The coworker replied, 'It is like being a pumpkin.'

God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and
washes all the dirt off of you.

Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky
stuff.

He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed.

Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His
light inside of you to shine for all the world to
see.'

Lessons I've Learned

There was frost on the ground this morning. That means it's time to get out the socks. Wouldn't you know it, my big toe went right through the end of the sock. I looked down at my protruding toe and thought, when am I going to find the time to mend this sock? And then I flashed to Grandma Jean, sitting at the kitchen counter, darning socks and stockings and listening to Paul Harvey.

Grandma Jean always darned her socks and stockings inside out, with a light bulb pushed up inside, stretching out the toe area where she was mending. She said that way, the mending didn't change the shape or the size of the toe. The sock remained comfortable.

I couldn't help but think of some of the other lessons I learned from Grandma.

**Freshly shredded sweet onion is the key to any good cheese ball or bologna salad

**A bag of Constant Comment in your iced tea makes it taste better

**If there is a gap in the wallpaper seam and the wall shows through, you can color it in with a crayon. A 64 box of crayola is sure to contain a perfect match.

**Dipping your fingertips in milk and wetting the top crust of a pie will make it brown better....of course, you MUST sprinkle sugar on top of the milk.

**Steel wool tucked around the pipes under the sink keep the mice from getting in.

**When you make scrambled eggs, always add 1/2 shell of milk for every egg. It makes your eggs fluffier.

**Always flour your hamburger patties before frying.

**Use Miracle Grow when you're planting

**If you turn your head away while you throw a whole stick of butter into a kettle of potato soup, the extra calories don't count (I think she made this one up!)

**Iron your clothes out of the dryer...not when you get them out to wear. It saves time. I haven't mastered this one yet.

**A match book and a candle in the bathroom can be a lifesaver.

I'm curious...what lessons did you learn from Grandma?

God is Great

Every day, I get a devotional sent to my e-mail. Today, the devotional was this:

“Keep on asking and it will be given to you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7 AMP).

We asked that Grandma Jean not feel pain. God answered. We asked that Grandma not be alone. He answered. We asked that Grandma not suffer long. He answered.

God IS good...ALL the time.

One of my favorite Grandma Jean memories

So, about 10 years ago, my family took Grandma Jean to a little movie we thought she would enjoy...Titanic. She had seen the previews, knew many things about the plot and was very interested in seeing the film.

We went St. Valentine's day week-end. Me, mom, dad, Ben, Serena and Grandma Jean arrived early, got tubs of popcorn and vats of soda and chose seats mid-way up the stadium style theater, smack dab in the middle of the row. We anxiously waited while other patrons filed in. By the time the movie started, the theater was packed.

Now, if you've never seen the movie, there are some important plot lines you need to know. The movie is about a boat...that sinks. The plot follows two young lovers on the boat. Jack is a starving artist and Rose is a wealthy socialite. They have a forbidden romance that at one point involves Jack drawing Rose in, shall I say, less than modest attire. Actually, no attire at all. The movie is also really long.

So, about two hours into the movie, Grandma Jean announces in a normal speaking voice, "If he's going to draw her naked, he better hurry up. That boat's going to sink." We all slid down into our seats as the row ahead of us turned around to see who was disrupting the movie.

Later as the ship was sinking, the string quartet decided to stay on deck and play music instead of abandoning the ship. Apparently, when the real Titanic sank, the string quartet actually did this. They played hymns to calm the passengers.

Well, when they started playing in the movie, Grandma recognized the hymn right away and began to sing along. For the rest of my life, I'll never forget my Grandma sitting in a dark, crowded theater, singing "Nearer My God to Thee" in full voice for everyone to hear:

Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.
E'en though it be a cross,
That raiseth me
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.

Though like the wanderer,
The sun gone down
Darkness be over me,
My rest a stone,
Yet in my dreams I'd be,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.

There let the way appear,
Steps unto heaven
All that Thou sendest me,
In mercy given
Angels to beckon me,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.

Then with my waking thoughts
Bright with Thy praise
Out of my stony griefs
Bethel I'll raise
So by my woes to be,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.

Or if on joyful wing,
Cleaving the sky
Sun, moon, and stars forgot,
Upward I fly
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee!

How things ended with Staples.

Grandma asked me today about the "boyfriend." I didn't have the heart to go into detail, so I told her that he was fine -- which I know he is. Not exactly a lie, right? More of an omission of truth.

The real story is that Staples and I aren't going to be seeing each other any more, unless it is in a public forum. We had several great dates and enjoyed each others company very much. He's a really great guy.

Since we met online, we were open about the situation. We both knew that there was no reason to be "exclusive" for any reason. Fine. It doesn't seem to make much sense to meet someone and decide that day to be exclusive.

As our conversations progressed, I learned that Staples had been going out with one girl on and off for a few months. As he told me about her, it came to light that she was on vacation in Michigan the week we met, and he was, well, a little lonely and a little confused about exactly where their relationship stood.

One night, he was at my house. We had made dinner and were watching TV when she called. He was very tense after the call, so I just had to lay it out for him:

Me: Have you ever considered, that you are just a monogamy kind of guy? You weren't meant to "play the field?"
S: But my marriage dissolved after 4 years. What if I try and this fails too?
Me: Yeah. You might try and it might last for only 50 years.
S: But I don't want to hurt you.
Me: (giggle) Like I'm going to be that smitten for any guy after a week? Sweetie, you're a great guy, but you ain't all that. (OK, that was in my head...here's what I actually said:) I'm not that fragile. I will be ok. But what's important here is to figure out what you want. If you want to try with her, great. If you don't, stop leading her on. If you don't know what you want...maybe you should take some time for yourself and figure that out.
S: I don't know.
Me: Of course you don't...you're a man. (OK -- that was in my head again. What I actually said was:) Why don't you go home and start thinking about it.

And he did.

This week he contacted me to let me know that they were going to try the monogamy thing for a while. He then thanked me profusely. I told him he owed me one...and so did she.

There is an upside all of this though. Yes, I did lose out on a possible relationship, but the positives far outweigh the negatives.

1) I met a really great guy, was totally myself and didn't scare him away.
2) I got a man to make somewhat of a commitment, not to me of course but still, a commitment was made.
3) He committed to a woman...not a man. At least I didn't turn this one gay. he he.

Have you hugged your pet today?

On October 4th, our friends the catholics, celebrated the feast of St. Francis of Assisi, patron saint of all animals. To commemorate the event, I'm holding a caption contest. A prize will be awarded to anyone who participates AND comes to rummy tile Tuesday night.

Milk bone, anyone?



Captions so far:

"Thank you Lord, for sending me to this house, instead of Michael Vicks"

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord would send me a big bone to eat!"

And in hops Frog #6

So, I figured you need to just jump back on the horse...right? I got online and there was Frog #6 AKA Trolley, waiting to talk to ME! Whoo-hoo. Trolley was waiting for his flight at the airport in beautiful San Francisco.



Apparently, he has a new job and is moving to Columbus. He doesn't know a soul here. We spoke a bit about moving where you don't know anyone...and I told him about England. What a surprise, he has family who lives in England. He used to live there himself...and Africa, and Oklahoma and I can't remember where else. I laughed and told him that I hope our little cow town can live up to his worldly expectations.

Now, I normally wouldn't blog about a first conversation, but in the course of the blab-fest, the following dialogue occurred:

T: Do you think it's true that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet a prince?
Me: Well...I've been kissing some frogs...haven't met my prince, so experience proves the old saying correct.
T: Are you tired of kissing toads? Are you ready to meet a prince?

HA! In light of how I've been writing about these guys, I just thought it was too funny and needed to share. If I play tour guide for Trolley, I'll be sure to let you know.....

So, the bloom fades quickly....

Staples and I have spent much time together this week. We've spoken hours on the phone and IM'ed each other more than my boss knows! We had dinner Wednesday night AND Thursday night. He also took me to the shooting range Thursday.
Little aside here...I'm good with a gun. I mean REALLY good. I shot a 22 and a Glock 9MM. I was good with the 22 and great with the 9MM after some practice. It wasn't hard to impress myself, but Staples was impressed too. We shot for a couple of hours. I got to wear the safety glasses and the head phones, run the targets back and forth on the automated clothesline and pick up the shell casings so they could be repacked later. It was a blast -- pun intended.
So why does the bloom fade quickly? It is increasingly obvious that Staples hasn't fully recovered emotionally from his divorce. Personally, I don't think he's ready for anyone as confident and as independent as I am. I sent him home last night and asked him to think about what he wanted. After all, I'm not here to play therapist. He agreed that taking the week-end to himself to consider different possibilities would be more beneficial in the long run than me calling in sick on Friday so I could stay home with him...which is what he originally wanted.
It is a curse to be this desirable. ha ha ha.....
Anyways, Staples know that the door is open to him, but I'm not expecting much. I guess it's back to the drawing boards for me. I'll keep ya posted

Frog #5 -- The Shimmer of a Prince

So I had a very nice date with Frog #5 yesterday. I had originally given him the nickname Steely J., but after meeting him, I discovered he had his own nickname -- Staples. Whys that you ask? Because he has an easy button...just like the commercials. And indeed, he is a very laid back and easy going guy.

Of course, when I met Staples, the first name that popped into my head was Fat Pat...because he reminded me of my cousin, but just in a smooshed down, wider kind of way.

Staples and I met at a bar to watch the Steelers crucify the Seahawks. We shared some pizza and beers, laughs and cheers for our team. We decided that more time needed to be spent together so movie and a dinner followed.

Staples is a blissfully normal guy. He works as a computer geek for JPMorgan/Chase. He owns his own house and property, likes to hunt -- both gun and crossbow, and he's an avid pool player. He grew up in western PA (around Slippery Rock) and has been transplanted in Ohio for almost 10 years. Staples is an excellent conversationalist...he speaks easily and encourages conversation, while never dominating it. That talent is a welcome treat from the one word grunts I've encountered thus far. More vital stats: he's 34 (soon to be 35 in January), has been previously married and has a 12-year-old daughter. He's Southern Baptist and because he owns guns, one can only assume that he's Republican.

So, after our 7 hour first date, I informed Staples that it was time for this little chick-a-dee to go home, as there was a dog with his legs crossed waiting there. Staples laughed and agreed. After I got home, I got an IM sayting that he had a great time. I wrote back that I did too...and we IM'ed for a bit. Then he declared that he couldn't type fast enough and asked if he could call. That conversation lasted over an hour. **sigh**

Thursday, Staples is taking me to the shooting range. We can also deduce that he is brave....very brave.

Some Recent Pics....

Miss Mary quite contrary....

Linus and his favorite stick

Hmmm....wonder who took this one?

The Polyester Chief

Q: At what point, do you think I start trusting my instincts and be a bit more selective?

A: Right Now.

Last night I had a date with The Polyester Chief. He told me he wasn't really into talking online, and would I mind meeting him for coffee. OK. He gave me his phone number and suggested we meet Sunday after church. However, when I called him, I got his voice mail...so I left a message. By the time we met last night, he had called 7 times, just to confirm a time and place...or to change it. Ugh.

Now, this guy told me that he was 41. My acute visual awareness told me that he was a liar. I don't think of myself as judgemental...after all, he was nice enough and bought me coffee, but let me see if I can describe him: gray and balding, gold pinky rings, silver polyester shirt unbuttoned low enough for his graying chest hair to pop out, khaki shorts, mules, baby-butt smooth legs and a walk that indicated he suffered from the gout.

The Polyester Chief was the fire chief for a small burg outside of Columbus. He taught drivers-ed on the week-ends. He liked stamp and coin collecting and antiques. He was divorced for two years and lived with his brother and his wife. The Polyester Chief immediately wanted to know if we could go hang at my house and have order a pizza.

Unfortunately, I was taking dinner to a "friend" and couldn't stay. After I ran for it, I went over to Jersey Mikes, where I know the owner. He felt sorry for me and gave me a free sub. So it wasn't a wasted night after all!

So, after a week of trying this, here are Sara's super groovy Internet dating rules:
1) If they are aggressive online, don't meet them.
2) If they can't spell or write well, don't meet them.
3) If they refuse to show you a picture, or send you a picture of something that would generally not be shown in a police line-up, don't meet them.
4) If you do agree to meet, ask them what car they are driving and to meet you in the parking lot. Don't reveal your car type, because then you can do a drive-by check to see if you want to stay.

All this is not a loss though. I have very high hopes for Frog #5 aka Steely J. We've had some great conversations and he seems....normal. We're meeting Sunday to watch the Steelers beat Seattle. I'll update you ASAP.

Leisure Suit Larry and Frog #3

Did you ever play that video game in the 80's called 'Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards?" Yeah, I didn't think so. I used to play alot. Our friends the Crawfords had it. You were the character Larry and you were navigating through the night life. You had to over come drunks, jealous boyfriends, whiney women etc. etc. But you know what? No matter how far you advanced, Leisure Suit Larry never left the lounge.

Enter Frog #3, aka Bartender Ted.

Bartender Ted was one of the first guys I met online. He approached me on IM and chatted easily. He worked construction during the day and tended bar at night. He was a little forward in his approach, but I didn't really think to much about it at the time. He invited me to the bar where he worked on Saturday night so we could meet (He works in a restaurant, so the bar wasn't always crowded). I told him I would try, but didn't make any promises.

So Saturday night rolled around, and Semi-Steve had offered to actually take me out...which I thought was a better deal than sitting at the end of a bar talking to a guy between customers. Of course we all know how that turned out. While I was out with Semi-Steve, Bartender Ted started calling. Where are you at? Are you coming? I'm getting ready to leave! Call me. Several messages were left.

After I excused myself from Semi-Steve, I called Bartender Ted back....no answer. I left a voice mail and drove home. When I got home, Bartender Ted was waiting on IM to talk. He claimed the night was still young and proposed we go out. I told him that I just wasn't in a going out mood anymore, I had an early morning and sorry, we'll have to make it another time. I asked if that was OK, he said it was and he understood. Great.

Then he started contacting me about how I missed such a great opportunity. He had all the power and I was on a hook...so he claimed. Apparently he believed that I couldn't wait to go out on a date with him, and that he was just going to keep me waiting out of spite. HA! Every time I logged on to IM, he popped up with this kind of drivel.

After talking to some other girls who meet men online and use IM to communicate, I discovered that Bartender Ted is the lounge lizard of the Internet. He waits online and then pounces on whoever is new to the scene, uses them to his best advantage and then never really moves on. It amazes me that friends as far away as Cleveland have even been subjected to Bartender Ted. Nice.

Bartender Ted is now blocked from my IM list.

Tune in next time to hear about Frog #4 aka The Polyester Chief.

Me and my frogs

So, if you don't know, I've been very, very frustrated with the whole dating world. The old fix-up seems to be a thing of the past, or at least no one is fixing me up. I have asked so many people for their advice, and all I get is blank stares and shrugs, and alot of "gee, wow, that's rough." In fact, when discussing the situation with a staff member at church, I was advised to either try e-harmony (which I have deduced is a joke) or maybe MOVE TO A DIFFERENT CHURCH! (The ridiculousness of this statement astounds me as our church is trying to grow. Obviously, we wouldn't want to cultivate a thriving men's ministry that would attract single men of God. Noooooooo, it is far better to just tell the single women to go elsewhere. I guess we are just supposed to come back when we are married with a family?) ACK! I'm getting off topic.

I decided that in order to date a prince, I was going to have to suck it up and kiss a few frogs. I thought you all might enjoy a good laugh about how horrible the dating world is.

Enter frog #2 aka Semi-Steve. (Frog #1 aka The Cable Guy will need an entry of his own at a future date).

Semi-Steve and I met online (this seems to be the easiest way to meet men these days). We exchanged pictures and IM'ed each other for a bit. He was very charming...asked about me, interested in my background -- wanted to know about what my masters was in. He suggested we meet for a drink on Saturday night. Fine. We agreed on a place/time etc. He said he would meet me outside. And I naively thought that he would be a gentleman. HA!

I pull up to see a guy with dripping wet hair and the arms ripped off of his t-shirt. Apparently Semi-Steve was a bouncer in a former life, and now was a truck-driver. It took from the time we met in the parking lot until the time we sat down to realize that Semi-Steve couldn't put a sentence together without swearing. Semi-Steve insisted we sit outside on the patio, as he did not want to hear anything about the Buckeyes. In fact, he hated the Buckeyes. He hated that they were winning. He hated that people in Columbus were crazy about them. He hated how people acted the next day (apparently Buckeye Victory Gloating made Semi-Steve feel bad **sniff sniff**)

As it turns out, Semi-Steve hated just about everything. Here is a short list:

1) The Buckeyes
2) Being hot (physically)
3) Patio's without hot tubs
4) Kids
5) Mustangs (the car)
6) Columbus in General
7) Black Ice
8) Columbus Drivers
9) Columbus Drivers + Black Ice
10) Not having a house
11) His job
12) His boss
13) The headlights of his Camero (apparently one wasn't working properly)
14) Janitorial supply companies
15) My ringtone
16) The newly re-routed Powell Road

I could go on, but why? The date ended when he told me that I would need to shut my phone off when we went back to his place because he couldn't "concentrate" with that ringtone going off. HA! Like there was any chance I would go anywhere with him. He didn't even get a handshake. I thanked him for my drinks, explained two was my limit and I was going home. Buh-Bye!

Tune in next time for the exciting tale of Frog #3 aka Bartender Ted.