Me and my frogs

So, if you don't know, I've been very, very frustrated with the whole dating world. The old fix-up seems to be a thing of the past, or at least no one is fixing me up. I have asked so many people for their advice, and all I get is blank stares and shrugs, and alot of "gee, wow, that's rough." In fact, when discussing the situation with a staff member at church, I was advised to either try e-harmony (which I have deduced is a joke) or maybe MOVE TO A DIFFERENT CHURCH! (The ridiculousness of this statement astounds me as our church is trying to grow. Obviously, we wouldn't want to cultivate a thriving men's ministry that would attract single men of God. Noooooooo, it is far better to just tell the single women to go elsewhere. I guess we are just supposed to come back when we are married with a family?) ACK! I'm getting off topic.

I decided that in order to date a prince, I was going to have to suck it up and kiss a few frogs. I thought you all might enjoy a good laugh about how horrible the dating world is.

Enter frog #2 aka Semi-Steve. (Frog #1 aka The Cable Guy will need an entry of his own at a future date).

Semi-Steve and I met online (this seems to be the easiest way to meet men these days). We exchanged pictures and IM'ed each other for a bit. He was very charming...asked about me, interested in my background -- wanted to know about what my masters was in. He suggested we meet for a drink on Saturday night. Fine. We agreed on a place/time etc. He said he would meet me outside. And I naively thought that he would be a gentleman. HA!

I pull up to see a guy with dripping wet hair and the arms ripped off of his t-shirt. Apparently Semi-Steve was a bouncer in a former life, and now was a truck-driver. It took from the time we met in the parking lot until the time we sat down to realize that Semi-Steve couldn't put a sentence together without swearing. Semi-Steve insisted we sit outside on the patio, as he did not want to hear anything about the Buckeyes. In fact, he hated the Buckeyes. He hated that they were winning. He hated that people in Columbus were crazy about them. He hated how people acted the next day (apparently Buckeye Victory Gloating made Semi-Steve feel bad **sniff sniff**)

As it turns out, Semi-Steve hated just about everything. Here is a short list:

1) The Buckeyes
2) Being hot (physically)
3) Patio's without hot tubs
4) Kids
5) Mustangs (the car)
6) Columbus in General
7) Black Ice
8) Columbus Drivers
9) Columbus Drivers + Black Ice
10) Not having a house
11) His job
12) His boss
13) The headlights of his Camero (apparently one wasn't working properly)
14) Janitorial supply companies
15) My ringtone
16) The newly re-routed Powell Road

I could go on, but why? The date ended when he told me that I would need to shut my phone off when we went back to his place because he couldn't "concentrate" with that ringtone going off. HA! Like there was any chance I would go anywhere with him. He didn't even get a handshake. I thanked him for my drinks, explained two was my limit and I was going home. Buh-Bye!

Tune in next time for the exciting tale of Frog #3 aka Bartender Ted.