How things ended with Staples.

Grandma asked me today about the "boyfriend." I didn't have the heart to go into detail, so I told her that he was fine -- which I know he is. Not exactly a lie, right? More of an omission of truth.

The real story is that Staples and I aren't going to be seeing each other any more, unless it is in a public forum. We had several great dates and enjoyed each others company very much. He's a really great guy.

Since we met online, we were open about the situation. We both knew that there was no reason to be "exclusive" for any reason. Fine. It doesn't seem to make much sense to meet someone and decide that day to be exclusive.

As our conversations progressed, I learned that Staples had been going out with one girl on and off for a few months. As he told me about her, it came to light that she was on vacation in Michigan the week we met, and he was, well, a little lonely and a little confused about exactly where their relationship stood.

One night, he was at my house. We had made dinner and were watching TV when she called. He was very tense after the call, so I just had to lay it out for him:

Me: Have you ever considered, that you are just a monogamy kind of guy? You weren't meant to "play the field?"
S: But my marriage dissolved after 4 years. What if I try and this fails too?
Me: Yeah. You might try and it might last for only 50 years.
S: But I don't want to hurt you.
Me: (giggle) Like I'm going to be that smitten for any guy after a week? Sweetie, you're a great guy, but you ain't all that. (OK, that was in my head...here's what I actually said:) I'm not that fragile. I will be ok. But what's important here is to figure out what you want. If you want to try with her, great. If you don't, stop leading her on. If you don't know what you want...maybe you should take some time for yourself and figure that out.
S: I don't know.
Me: Of course you don't...you're a man. (OK -- that was in my head again. What I actually said was:) Why don't you go home and start thinking about it.

And he did.

This week he contacted me to let me know that they were going to try the monogamy thing for a while. He then thanked me profusely. I told him he owed me one...and so did she.

There is an upside all of this though. Yes, I did lose out on a possible relationship, but the positives far outweigh the negatives.

1) I met a really great guy, was totally myself and didn't scare him away.
2) I got a man to make somewhat of a commitment, not to me of course but still, a commitment was made.
3) He committed to a woman...not a man. At least I didn't turn this one gay. he he.