Dizzy

When you were a kid, did you ever sit in the middle of the merry-go-round and have someone else push? Everything was so clear, and you could focus on things. Suddenly, you would be going so fast, all of those clear images would become smeared together...and even when you stopped, it took a while to get your focus back.

When dancers spin, they "spot." They find a fixed object and concentrate on it, turning their bodies and keeping their head focused on the spot, eventually whipping their heads around and again focusing on the "spot." It keeps them from getting dizzy.

Over the past week, I've lost my spot. Everything has been going so fast, that events and conversations seem almost blurred, and it's hard to focus on any of them. I apologize gentle readers, for leaving you out of the loop. Big thanks to Sleepy Scott for pointing out my lack of attention.

I wish I could say that since I've been so busy, my life is more fulfilling, but it's really not. It's just busier. Even time spent with family and friends seems rushed because of everything else that "has" to be done. Like so many people in this world, I've made my life busy to distract myself from the things in my life that are painful. It's just easier to say "I'm too busy to deal with that...."

For those of us who try to walk a Christian faith, it is the perfect day to re-focus. Good Friday. The day Jesus loved me enough to give his life for mine. To recognize that the pain is necessary. My head knows this all the time. My heart forgets...but when my heart remembers, I find my "spot" again. Everything jars into focus. It's a raw feeling, but one that I'm grateful for.

I've been listening to Glenn Beck's Easter Essay. I'm not sure you can listen to it if you aren't a member, but if you get a chance, do it. It's amazing. When he tells the story of the Passion, he sets it to the music of Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon." It perfectly captures the confusion among the apostles and the abandonment of Christ. That's the part that always gets me. Jesus pleading for his friends to stay awake and pray with him...and everyone drifting off to sleep, oblivious that it was their last night with him.

Sunday we will focus on the Resurrection, but today is the day to focus on the death. To recognize the pain and not try to avoid it...but to look at it straight in the eyes and start to deal with it.

You're not alone, my friend.